Its Been A Looooong Time

Weeeell......

What to say?

Where to start?


Im sooo gawn from GA and doing well so far.
Been staying with my bestest and oh so grateful for that.

My car is here in CT,after being immobile for almost 2 mths I kind of felt Id be that way for awhile.

The boys are great..Braylon is getting HUGE!! (pics as soon as I can guys)
Shamarr is 3 going on 14..too damn much for me y'all too damn much (pics of him soon as well)

Being home feels good..on a job hunt right about now.

We are getting a house!!!
Its sooo niiice...Im soo grateful for things going in the right direction.
I feel like GA had ya' girl stagnant, I just couldnt do it guys.

Buuut..Im home now visiting non-phony fam', probably attending a cookout tomorrow.
If anything Ill just go because Lil Mar enjoys the air, let him run about.

Truth be told..this is my first time sitting at a computer since my last entry..so Im not so sure when my next will be, Ill try to make it soon.

Thanx for All the Mothers Day shout outs!!!

I had a great Moms Day...K.D took me shopping for clothes and sneakers (got some FLY AZZ J's)..Im soo appreciative for that..Love ma' babes.

I hope all my Moms enjoyed their day and you guys enjoy your holiday.

Much love..Miss yall!!!!

Update and a Plug

Hey guys!!

All is well...
Gearing up for this weekend and MONDAY!!!!

My son is soo excited for our grand appearance..he tells me daily how he misses me and "his" Braylon..lol.

I have a J.O.B waiting for ME!!!

Thanx to my AWESOME BFF...L!!!
LOVES HER!!!

She has TRULY shown me TRUE friendship and that she really DOES care for me.

Onto other things..




I HAVE to inform my people on this website by a fellow V-logger Jia.

She is a true gem for this one.

The website is www.projectnewera.com

It is about OUR community and the horrible things that our happening to US and OUR children.

PLEASE check it out..it it SOO worth it.
You will be informed and who knows..YOU just might have some info that can help one of OUR missing children/men/women.

I love y'all...once again check out the site and show some love.

Be Good

::smooches::

Ok Ok Ok

Wonderin' Where the hell Ive been???


And What Ive been doin'??




Weeellllll.......


Im.....



Busy....



AS HELL......




PACKING!!!!!

As you all may know...
I am moving back home to Ct.
We (My brother and I) purchased our tickets and we are OUT OF HERE in 10 DAYS!!!

Soooo.....

You wont hear much from me being that it is HELLA hectic getting things in order to go to storage for a short period of time.

But.....

I wont be gone too long...I have been stalking and not commenting..havent been on the Comp. too much if it isnt looking up prices on movers and what have you.

I havent forgotten about you guys so PLEASE dont forget about your gurl :-)

I'll holla soon.

::smooches::

Transformed

I feel like I have transformed into the "Me" that Ive been muffling for soo long.

I say this because..I used to go out often and smoke trees ALOT!!

Never the less my child was taken care of and it was ALWAYS a once a weekend thang.

But....

I feel like I have truly changed guys.
I used to go out because I was unsatisfied with my relationship.
It was around the time where Id SAY that he wasnt doing this or wasnt giving me that..and I felt like I couldnt talk to the man I loved/the man who claimed to love me.

Soo..

I thought getting REAL FLY and stepping out on the town was suffice.

No..

I went out last nite with my "New" self and felt soo out of place..the WHOLE time I just wanted to go home and hold Braylon y'all and call my oldest on the phone.
NO LIE!!

I just wanted my Chocolate Little Monster to smile and coo in my face and hear Shamarr send me kisses through the phone rather than the foo's that was up in there last nite. ::SMH::

I love ALL EVERYWHERE and I dont discriminate but WHY does it seem like my people from the South are stuck in a time warp??
I REALLY wanted to take the ladies shopping and GET THEM SOMETHING THAT COMPLIMENTED THEIR BODY SHAPE!!
And the fellaz??
You dont go out looking like you just got out of bed and said "Hey, I thank I wanna go to da' club"


Aaaanyhoooo...

I truly feel that "change" in me..I am actually content with my relationship and the fact that we ARE going to argue and not see eye to eye on EVERYTHING..but..hey..that makes for SPECTACULAR make up sex ::WINK::

Im happy y'all and there is NOTHING a club with a HOT MESS man or even a SEXXY ass one can do for me.

I am all about my family and proud of it.

MY FAMILY

Gawn Baby Gawn

Well Ladies and Gentlemen,

I have an update for you.

K.D

After K.D and I had our MUCH NEEDED talk, we decided that financially, it would be best that he go back home and get up the money needed.

For what you ask??

I'M GOIN' HOOOOME IN ABOUT 4 WKS!!!

Besides that..we need to get a head start on saving for our place.

Im soo glad we talked things out because lemme tayle y'all homeboy was SOOO OUT THA DOOR!!!

I was MORE than serious.

It felt AWESOME to get EVERY feeling Ive been feeling for 5 YRS out in the open.
When I say he had NO WORDS when I aired it out...I KNEW he felt what I said and it had impacted him in a way that he SHUT THE HELL UP and finally talked to me later that evening.

It seems we are on track besides the fact that he WONT LET UP about "Seatfiller".
That droves me CRAZY!!
But I ignore him.

QUESTION???

Why do some men do that??
Bring up the past and just WONT let it die??
**I know some of me ladies do that as well..but Im not involved with a lady so Im askin' about men**

Moving on.......

He Took My Love With Him :-(

I am sooo sad right now you guys because to make it easier on our pockets when Braylon and I fly up next mth K.D too Shamarr with him :-(

I CRIIIED like a child who lost their puppy!!!


gI cant GO withouy my babies y'all!!!

That was the HARDEST thing to do.

BUT!!

It will get him closer to his Dad and respect him as a FATHER and NOT a playmate.

I will live.. I guess.


They left Sunday morning and believe you me Shamarr hasnt had a chance to miss me..I've called THAT much..lol.

Well guys..there is my lil' update.

Get at me with the comments

::SMOOCHES::





REAL QUICK!!!

My mom had her operation and she is doing well..just waiting on results now!!

LADIES!!

Have yourself checked for Pollaps!!

Keep your health IN CHECK!!

Ego

I have a SEVERE headache y'all.

JUST when I think I am making progress in my relationship..the ugly truth rears its HIDEOUS head.
It is THEE most frustrating,heart wrenching, painful, honesty Ive come to know plenty times before.

K.D.

I guess I was a bit too gleeful and unfocused on the inevitable

Which is....

He and I will ore than likely fall apart.

I have tried and tried with this man y'all and the last thing I want to make myself seem is an Angel..that..I am NOT.
I too have my faults.
And I ALSO tell the damn TRUTH when I KNOW Ive messed up even when it KILLS my pride.

But this time??

Its not me.
For real.

I am this >< close to asking him to go home and live his life the way he feels I messed it up.
Cuz' to me??
Its only been 2 weeks and he has PLENTY time to pick up where he left off.

I wanna go in detail but I feel like I need to talk to him first.
Even though Ive TRIED and I got shut down *as fuggin usual*..but best believe I have to listen to bitchin and moanin' more than a female on her cycle without shuttin' THAT the fug down.

I cant do this anymore y'all.
My heart is in a different place...my children.
THEY come FIRST no matter the cost.

I have so many goals that I want to achieve and I cant do that with a negative person by my side.

AND!!

If this is JUST a EGO THANG that men "go through" b/c he had to leave what he knew and will have to start all over again??
Then he is REALLY fuggin up what WE have based on his ego.

Basically pointing the finger at me because I decided to TRY something different and it didnt apply to YOU!!
It was NEVER about YOU!!
It was about my BABIES!!
I REALIZED GA ISNT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS AND I DONT NEED YOU TO REMIND ME OF A MISTAKE IVE MADE!!!













Y'all holla atcha gurl..Im in a bad way right now.
I really need some guidance..trust me I will elaborate when the time is right.

Peace

I Love This Gurl

Just wanted those who havent seen this to enjoy it.

I LOVES CHRISSETTE!!