Random

So much is going on in my head I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start with the random. I had a blog but for reason it won't let me get to it and pick up where I left off..SO..I had to begin anew. Can't say that's a bad thing my mind has so much in it I guess starting over won't be so bad.

Anyhoo....I finally made my "big" move to the Peach State known as Georgia. So far I'm just trying to get what I need done and then I'd consider myself officially settled. I wouldn't consider myself settled at the moment because I'm staying at my aunts house...and for those who have ever had to live with other people for even a split second..no matter what they say to make you feel comfortable..you're just not comfortable because you're not "home",ya know? But you gotta crawl before you walk,so I'm taking it for what it is and I realize I'm not going to be here for the remainder of my time in Ga so why stress?

Other things. I'm now preggers again,6 mths to be exact,at first I wasn't so excited because I just lost 50lbs and that was MAJOR to me. But for some reason,I'd call it maternal instinct,I'm good now and ready to meet my new baby boy and once again strive to do my best for both my boys. I feel really good saying that "my boys", boys are always good to there moms and something about that warms my heart. His name will be Braylon James a wonderful addition to myself and his big bro Shamarr Marquise. We are very excited.

As for their dad,I don't like to talk bad about him because in my eyes he's just a lost soul. I feel like we are from 2 different worlds and he's stuck in his and I'm trying to positively magnify mine and do what I have to for our children. Needless to say he is still in Ct and doing nothing but playing games as far as I go. You'd think a guy who was denied by his father most of his life he'd be on the first thing smoking to his kids so they don't feel any form of neglect and whatnot. But no, I got the guy that is so jacked as far as his thoughts go that I have to pick up the slack. Tell me if this makes ANY sense? The plan was I leave,he stays to get up enough money so he wouldn't be broke living in another state,I find a place,he send me the deniro for it,I get settled w/ Lil Mar,Dec he comes and life should be halfway grand.I find a place I like... he completely renigs on his part by holding the money against me for a week,then making stupid ass phone calls about how he's not coming at all and blah blah blah. So I say screw him and I cut him out of the plan and get the money another way and looong behold he sends the money to me!?!? I can't do this to my kids!! A confused father?! That's not fair to them or my sanity! My kids are number 1!! I'm a frigging M.I.L.F ok?! Being with him isn't important to me,himbeing there for his kids is my concern. But I can't keep going back and forth with him,why would you want to stress your 6mtd pregger kids mom out like that? He's immature and I don't have time for it. So poo to him and how lost he is...oh he has no place to live in Ct so why would he give me a hard time? Stupidity!!