I have a SEVERE headache y'all.
JUST when I think I am making progress in my relationship..the ugly truth rears its HIDEOUS head.
It is THEE most frustrating,heart wrenching, painful, honesty Ive come to know plenty times before.
K.D.
I guess I was a bit too gleeful and unfocused on the inevitable
Which is....
He and I will ore than likely fall apart.
I have tried and tried with this man y'all and the last thing I want to make myself seem is an Angel..that..I am NOT.
I too have my faults.
And I ALSO tell the damn TRUTH when I KNOW Ive messed up even when it KILLS my pride.
But this time??
Its not me.
For real.
I am this >< close to asking him to go home and live his life the way he feels I messed it up.
Cuz' to me??
Its only been 2 weeks and he has PLENTY time to pick up where he left off.
I wanna go in detail but I feel like I need to talk to him first.
Even though Ive TRIED and I got shut down *as fuggin usual*..but best believe I have to listen to bitchin and moanin' more than a female on her cycle without shuttin' THAT the fug down.
I cant do this anymore y'all.
My heart is in a different place...my children.
THEY come FIRST no matter the cost.
I have so many goals that I want to achieve and I cant do that with a negative person by my side.
AND!!
If this is JUST a EGO THANG that men "go through" b/c he had to leave what he knew and will have to start all over again??
Then he is REALLY fuggin up what WE have based on his ego.
Basically pointing the finger at me because I decided to TRY something different and it didnt apply to YOU!!
It was NEVER about YOU!!
It was about my BABIES!!
I REALIZED GA ISNT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS AND I DONT NEED YOU TO REMIND ME OF A MISTAKE IVE MADE!!!
Y'all holla atcha gurl..Im in a bad way right now.
I really need some guidance..trust me I will elaborate when the time is right.
Peace
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Ego
Thoughts Of: Ms.Lady at 6:41 PM
Labels: aggravated, i wanna know, K.D.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
17 People Had To Say....:
def keep ya kids first... and if he doesnt want to talk to you about making your relationship better then he has given you the answer to what your future together holds.
good luck sis
I have to agree - the kids should come first for both you & him.
Im not really one to give out good advice when it comes to relationships...but I will say that if you love dude with all your heart, and he doesnt reciprocate those same feelings, then a seperation may be needed.
Not necessarily permanent either. Just enough time for the both of you to miss each other and perhaps conclude how one may be taking the other for granted.
Since the kids come first, I think they should have a honest chance to experience both mom & dad together.
Just my two cents.
Sidebar: I like the dark background on white font.
I feel your pain. You have a tough decision ahead of you. It sounds like you know what is right and you know what you need to do, but it's not exactly what you want to do.
I wish I could offer you advice, but this is obviously a decision that only you alone can make, because you are the one who will have to live with it.
Big hugs. I hope everything works out for the best. Seriously.
Eb- You are so right..any person that isnt willing to atleast have it out..good or bad..isnt worth the time.
Don- Thats what Im trying to do!! I am trying soo hard and fighting soo hard for this relationship so my children can see something I didnt get the chance.
But whats the point of ME trying so hard when all he does is go the other way??
It hurts me sooo bad..more so for my son because he thinks so highly of his father..Ive been there..I put my dad on a pedestal and had a rude awakening which is why I am the way I am now.
Maybe more than 6 mths is what we need.
Im just tired of hurting and feeling like Im back at square 1 with him.
O.D- Thank you..I understand to be at a lose for words in situations like this.
i don't have to know your situation to know that once you become a parent, your comforts, preferences and issues ALL come second, third and sometimes fourth to the innocent ones we bring into this world. don't feel like you have to apologize for choosing to step outside of the box and progress...i'm sure you're making the best of your move. nonetheless, i will say this...do not continue an unhealthy relationship in front of your children either. again, i/we don't know the deets, but it is important that you two salvage the best of what you have before it plays itself out in a negative way. if you can't elevate together...elevate apart.
Awww. Not sure what is going on, but pray about it and let God lead you. He will protect you.
(hug!)
Peace.
Damn Ms. Lady...Sorry to read you're going through a tough time right now.
I too am at a loss for words but I will say that I hope whatever decision you make is one that is for the best.
Hope things come together sooner than later.
Ms. B
I SOOOOOO feel you on being tired of the hurt and feeling like your back at square one...I've been going through the same with Soldier. Our situation is different and obviously you have children together and you know that they come first. Maybe you guys need time for you both to collect your thoughts and feelings about what you both want may be what you need.
Ultimately it's your decision...it's hard either way....Sending big hugs your way girlie...hope thins start looking up real soon!
@ ms lady: Do you think that being distant from each other plays a part? Have you sat down and really reallt talk to your dude?
@Don Yea we talked a few nights ago and he FINALLY told where all this was coming from. Now that he has COMMUNICATED with me, I feel better and we came to a conclusion. He doesnt want to leave and I dont want him to go..but TRUST me..had he kept pushing me the way he was he KNEW his time was up.
ALOT of drama happened the last few days..but I guess when both parties calm down and talk the issue out..it does justice.
Sorry Im late girl.
Just realize that because we are mothers, alot of people dont think like us. If you feel you are doing something in your heart for the greater good of your children than do that, and dont make no apologies!
My mother would always say "If mama aint happy, aint nobody happy" I will keep you in my thoughts girl!
@ ms lady: good deal, ms lady. I know you felt good being able to get that communication. Makes you feel like everything is going to be alright, doesnt it.
dont have much to add
all i can say is i hope it works out for the best
whatever that may be
you'll get thru it
I wanna tell you to give him his walking papers, but you have to be ready to do that. I, too, am all too familiar with being made the "burden bearer" when the other person has made some not-so-wise life decisions.
Don't stay in anything you feel is draining you. You can't be the only one who wants it to work.
Off topic here, but I didnt realize you were only 23 years old. Wow, you have good wisdom babygirl.
Just stopping to say hi.
dig the blog
e.
@ Don- Thank you..As long as I can remember NO ONE has EVER believed me when I tell my age..I thank my Mom for raising me with a good head on my shoulders :-)
@ Eclectik- Thanxz for comin' by!!
I look at your blog ALOT but I guess I look "stalkerish" cuz I dont comment...lol.
I will now comment..lol.
Post a Comment